The greatest garage sale evvvvvveeerrr is on this weekend in Brisbane. Well the ad in the Courier didn't exactly say that. And the ad wasn't even in the Garage Sale Section.
Real Estate. Auction . Pictorial. That's where I found the Mr. Joel Barlow Collection.
What the ?
Isn't he the "fake Tahitian Prince "guy as I spat my short black into the newsprint.
I had to do the tyre kicker thing and check out how some of the $16 mill. of Q'ld Health's money was allocated.
33 pages, 810 lots of ...well...stuff.
Forget the Tahitian bit this guy was channelling...sorry Chanel-ing Imelda Marcos.
Centepede central for shoes. From Boots to dress , to sneakers and joggers to golf shoes and we finally get to the quality stuff thongs and a pair of Uggies.
This guy put the not so bright into Breitling. Watches,enough to go up every street hawkers arm in Bali.
Enough high branded fashion and bling to look after the entire red carpet on Oscar's night.
There must be every bit of Louis Vuitton gear made since 1854.
Message to self.
Must bid on the LV surfboard. Wonder if it comes with its own LV wax. You can keep your Kelly Slater . Wait till I'm carving up Snapper on my "louie".
Will the Louis Vuitton golf clubs bring my handicap down from 35.
Probably not but am I going to look good, particulary when I add the 'louie" beanie (hand knitted) and the assorted feather accessories.
Hold it, I've just had an idea for a float for Mardi Gras next year.
It took me til page 26 before I got to the stuff that I want ,that I really really want.
Yep the Ryobi Drill and Screwdriver set and the Trojan Tool Set and Box.
I wonder if they're sequinned to match my LV or D &G Sunnies. Have to have some protective gear when you're doing the hard yakka.
No Yakka , sorry,but I did find some Wrangler shorts but they may clash with my new Hermes Garden Tools .
Way to go ...just got my hands on the Monster Steam Mop, now just got to find a monster who won't object to being steam cleaned.
And I wonder what the household cleaning items will go for. Should I just go crazy and bid for the Ajax Spray n Wipe ?
Bloody hell how fun is this . It beats the crap out of knocking off stuff in the dead of night from household collections.
Speaking of knocking stuff off.
Came across the 1880 something Antique Pictorial Bible it's lot 655. But this quote is not from Lot.
Exodus20:15 "Thou shalt not steal" or Leviticus 19:11 "You shall not steal, you shall not deal falsely, you shall not lie to one another".
Let us bid on the rosary beads and kneel and pray this Sunday March 10 at Antique and FineArt Auction at the Gabba, that the Q'ld Reds Jersey gets a good price and that their season is richly rewarded.
We can also say one for a "fake Tahitian Prince" who lived royally and will continue to do so at Her Majesty's Pleasure.
Thursday 7 March 2013
Thursday 28 February 2013
A "Harti" Farewell.
Said goodbye to my old Senior Scout Master yesterday. A family friend of over 50 years. John Hartwell or "Harti" was a big hearted man in a broken body.
He had struggled as a young boy with osteomyelitis, had all manner of health issues in his 73 years finally succumbing to leukemia after a lengthy battle.
The Scouting and Masonic fraternity gave him a good send off .
As one of his old senior scout and Gang Show family I was honoured to deliver his eulogy written by his son Allen.
John would have loved that so many had turned out to say goodbye to this stubborn, big hearted battler.
We learned many life lessons in our late teens from "Harti".
Some had nothing to do with pitching tents or tying knots .
Like you never put a drip tray on the floor under the tap of a keg.
That message is of great importance and relevant for inclusion in the RSPCA "How to Operate a Dog" manual.
We learned that some hounds have a liking for the "hops". And that man's best friend , even on four legs can also get legless.
And this was in the day's when "Dog Bolter" was merely an expression and not a libation.
Thanks "Harti".
You gave plenty to many in your time.
I think this is an Aurelius quote:
Thou hast embarked, thou hast made the voyage, thou art come to shore; get out.
Some voyages are quicker than others.
He had struggled as a young boy with osteomyelitis, had all manner of health issues in his 73 years finally succumbing to leukemia after a lengthy battle.
The Scouting and Masonic fraternity gave him a good send off .
As one of his old senior scout and Gang Show family I was honoured to deliver his eulogy written by his son Allen.
John would have loved that so many had turned out to say goodbye to this stubborn, big hearted battler.
We learned many life lessons in our late teens from "Harti".
Some had nothing to do with pitching tents or tying knots .
Like you never put a drip tray on the floor under the tap of a keg.
That message is of great importance and relevant for inclusion in the RSPCA "How to Operate a Dog" manual.
We learned that some hounds have a liking for the "hops". And that man's best friend , even on four legs can also get legless.
And this was in the day's when "Dog Bolter" was merely an expression and not a libation.
Thanks "Harti".
You gave plenty to many in your time.
I think this is an Aurelius quote:
Thou hast embarked, thou hast made the voyage, thou art come to shore; get out.
Some voyages are quicker than others.
Monday 25 February 2013
Here's Looking Up Your Clacker !
OK the Oscars, both the South African and Hollywood kind are making news, but so is this. Sharyn Ghidella on Channel 7 breathlessly informed last night of drug busting with a difference.
Targeting a communities human waste to gather evidence of drug taking.
So as you're on the job at one end there's a team around the 's' bend, fondling feces forensically.
These "shite sifters" can work out through turd testing the drug consumption of a particular area.
They can narrow it down to weed and speed and the "runs" are on the board already in a few communities in Australia. The long arm of the law is up to its armpits in it.
The gloves are off , or in this case well and truly on, in this rearguard fight.
The "e coli collectors" though always behind in their work are racking up rectal records.
It does make you think while kicking up a stink.
Does a "do do detective" need to be anally retentive or just "annal-itical" ?
How much paper work is involved ?
How much would they make a year, like what is their annal salary ?
If you don't do drugs, no problem. But if you do, when "shite happens" the sewage so and so's will be right behind you.
The fickle finger of fate will be attached to the "Poo Police".
Next time you think something stinks with Q'ld. Police, you may be right.
Wednesday 20 February 2013
Your first !
My nephew was so excited to be getting his Bunsen Burner license at school. Now I didn't want to rain on his parade , but I already got mine. I can also responsibly turn on gas and strike a match, and I'm not talking about lighting farts on camping trips. Please do not try this at home you Jackass. I can also wipe my own backside. It is exciting growing up.
My nephews"first" was brought home to me when renewing my driver's license yesterday. Guess who has a birthday coming up ? Andrew at the Main Roads Customer Service Centre who set up my renewal yesterday shares the same birthday as yours truly. He also shared with me how he would tell his Mum that he was special because his birthday falls on the same day as Ian Skippen. I also found out his co-worker at the booth next door has a birthday the day before ours. I'd walked in to a nest of dreamy Pisceans. Too bad for those waiting for Number 328 to get on with his license renewal.
So back to the " first" part of the story.
The deal now in the license is you can encode it with a pin number and also your choice of two"secrets". You select two questions from a list and write the answers on the screen with a special pen.
The list has all sorts of "firsts" as questions.
What was the name of your first pet ?
What was the name of the street where you first lived ?
What was the name of your first teacher etc etc.
As I was making my selection, I was scanning the list for the most important "first", and it wasn't , "what was the name of the person who gave you your first bunsen burner license ?". Although the question I was looking for did create a few sparks and a bit of friction.
It should be on the list.
"What was the name of the person you first did "it" with ?"
Got it ? Now hold that memory. "Your first", and the expression that memory brought to your dial.
Lock it in Eddie.
Now if that question was on the list, at least it would explain the looks on our faces captured in our driver's license photo.
The same look I had when I got my bunsen burner license.
My nephews"first" was brought home to me when renewing my driver's license yesterday. Guess who has a birthday coming up ? Andrew at the Main Roads Customer Service Centre who set up my renewal yesterday shares the same birthday as yours truly. He also shared with me how he would tell his Mum that he was special because his birthday falls on the same day as Ian Skippen. I also found out his co-worker at the booth next door has a birthday the day before ours. I'd walked in to a nest of dreamy Pisceans. Too bad for those waiting for Number 328 to get on with his license renewal.
So back to the " first" part of the story.
The deal now in the license is you can encode it with a pin number and also your choice of two"secrets". You select two questions from a list and write the answers on the screen with a special pen.
The list has all sorts of "firsts" as questions.
What was the name of your first pet ?
What was the name of the street where you first lived ?
What was the name of your first teacher etc etc.
As I was making my selection, I was scanning the list for the most important "first", and it wasn't , "what was the name of the person who gave you your first bunsen burner license ?". Although the question I was looking for did create a few sparks and a bit of friction.
It should be on the list.
"What was the name of the person you first did "it" with ?"
Got it ? Now hold that memory. "Your first", and the expression that memory brought to your dial.
Lock it in Eddie.
Now if that question was on the list, at least it would explain the looks on our faces captured in our driver's license photo.
The same look I had when I got my bunsen burner license.
Friday 15 February 2013
What the ?????
How often have you been strolling through your day when you see something that makes you stop and think "What the ????".
I was driving through Ashgrove yesterday. Now there's been a bit of action on Stewarts Road lately with curbing and footpathing stuff. Everytime I have driven up to the lights I curse the "40" speed sign and the "stop n go "person, but not yesterday. I had come through the Waterworks /Stewarts Road intersection , then came to a "stop n go" person. Everybody obeyed ..except for one bloke.
"Speedy Gonzales" totally ignored stop or proceed with caution because he was a man on a mission. Maybe he had heard of the changes afoot in Campbell Land. Ros Bates and Caltabiano..."TheYarts" and "Main Roads" up a cul de sac, culled with the sack.
Maybe peptides had hit the roadside and was helping to shift his backside.
A council worker on speed...."What the ??"
This "Energiser Bunny" was running. A fully charged AAA. They were trotting out turf beside the newly laid footpath, but nobody was matching this bloke in the "Turf War".
While fellow gang members were sauntering up to the turf truck and back, this guy was burning rubber. Usain Bolting.
Maybe it was his turn to read the sign and if it said "go", he wasn't going to let the grass grow under his feet.
"What the ??".
Maybe he was the only one on incentives. Maybe a bonus per roll.
It was 11.00am, maybe a toot break was around the corner, down the street and over the hill, and he needed to go.
How many short blacks had this guy had ? I reckon he'd worked his way from "U & I Espresso" on Waterworks Rd., down to" Home" on Stewarts Rd., and was rolling his own all the way to "Grub Street " at Gaythorne.
Don't you love a passionate person. If that's all he had to do all day, then he we going to be the best damn "turf rollerouter" on Stewarts Rd.
The "stop n go" gave me the sign, the lights changed and I was heading off to my own patch .
As the man said:
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail".
"What the ??"
And make sure you turf down both sides.
I was driving through Ashgrove yesterday. Now there's been a bit of action on Stewarts Road lately with curbing and footpathing stuff. Everytime I have driven up to the lights I curse the "40" speed sign and the "stop n go "person, but not yesterday. I had come through the Waterworks /Stewarts Road intersection , then came to a "stop n go" person. Everybody obeyed ..except for one bloke.
"Speedy Gonzales" totally ignored stop or proceed with caution because he was a man on a mission. Maybe he had heard of the changes afoot in Campbell Land. Ros Bates and Caltabiano..."TheYarts" and "Main Roads" up a cul de sac, culled with the sack.
Maybe peptides had hit the roadside and was helping to shift his backside.
A council worker on speed...."What the ??"
This "Energiser Bunny" was running. A fully charged AAA. They were trotting out turf beside the newly laid footpath, but nobody was matching this bloke in the "Turf War".
While fellow gang members were sauntering up to the turf truck and back, this guy was burning rubber. Usain Bolting.
Maybe it was his turn to read the sign and if it said "go", he wasn't going to let the grass grow under his feet.
What a stand out while others were standing around.
On Campbell's Ashgrove Turf, this guy was like lightening on Astroturf.
He took cutting another man's grass to a new level and he was smokin' it.
"What the ??".
Maybe he was the only one on incentives. Maybe a bonus per roll.
It was 11.00am, maybe a toot break was around the corner, down the street and over the hill, and he needed to go.
How many short blacks had this guy had ? I reckon he'd worked his way from "U & I Espresso" on Waterworks Rd., down to" Home" on Stewarts Rd., and was rolling his own all the way to "Grub Street " at Gaythorne.
Don't you love a passionate person. If that's all he had to do all day, then he we going to be the best damn "turf rollerouter" on Stewarts Rd.
The "stop n go" gave me the sign, the lights changed and I was heading off to my own patch .
As the man said:
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail".
"What the ??"
And make sure you turf down both sides.
Thursday 14 February 2013
THE VATICAN WRAP..UP
He came from Bavaria
that's his area
A man of hope
he ended up Pope
With shoes of red
his people he led
he's pulled the pin
before he winds up dead
Benedict 16,
classically keen
Pianist trained,
not often seen
A gig in the Vatican
can't do that again
Pope 265
wants to stay alive
A peacemaker with a pacemaker
at the head of the cue
A man for all
Catholic Protestant and Jew
Jesus Joseph Mary
now it's getting scary
Benedict is stepping down
late in February
A lover of cats
and pointy hats
a beautiful beatifier
who said that's that.
Benedictus or Benedetto
Italian or Latin,
The Pontiff is giving up the chair
in Rome that he sat in
85 years young
nothing about him bitter
blessed us all from the heart
when he took to twitter
Benedict doesn't care
about colour creed or face
in his eyes we're all divine
blessed human race.
that's his area
A man of hope
he ended up Pope
With shoes of red
his people he led
he's pulled the pin
before he winds up dead
Benedict 16,
classically keen
Pianist trained,
not often seen
A gig in the Vatican
can't do that again
Pope 265
wants to stay alive
A peacemaker with a pacemaker
at the head of the cue
A man for all
Catholic Protestant and Jew
Jesus Joseph Mary
now it's getting scary
Benedict is stepping down
late in February
A lover of cats
and pointy hats
a beautiful beatifier
who said that's that.
Benedictus or Benedetto
Italian or Latin,
The Pontiff is giving up the chair
in Rome that he sat in
85 years young
nothing about him bitter
blessed us all from the heart
when he took to twitter
Benedict doesn't care
about colour creed or face
in his eyes we're all divine
blessed human race.
Wednesday 13 February 2013
VALENTINE'S DAY. ESPRESSO YOURSELF.
Valentines 2013. My Greek mate Vasilis told me yesterday the Brisbane restaurants will be doing a roaring trade in romantic dinners tonight. Roses at a premium on the day of love. I have done the romantic dinners, the single rose, the sexy lingerie. That last one drew some funny looks in the restaurant. I thought I looked OK in the blood red suspenders.
I got the message for this year. The Keeper of The Purse, now that we live on Austerity Drive, put out the edict "No Gifts". I did buy the card from the shrapnel I cobbled together out of the ashtray in my horseless carriage.
Why is it when buying a card you have to read every card in the display ? Hallmark ain't necessarily the hallmark. Because I do love a "Short Black", I checked out the card with the two shots on the front, in the "Wife" section. It read, " Honey, you are the shot of creamy milk to my espresso", that left me a little flat white. It could have been so much better, I'm sure "honey" would rather be the"skinnyccino".
My mind went to:
"Honey, you're the sweetness atop my capuccino, the grinder of my beans. I'm your ristretto even though you'd love to try a long black. We're the perfect macchiato. See you latte. I'll be the shot of steam in your frother".
I think that would have me in front of the barrister before the barista.
I ended up with the appropriate words for this day. Thursday is now"HOUSECLEANING DAY" on Austerity Drive. So it's a housecleaning Valentines. The card said "You'll Do Me" on the front, then opened up to "Washing, Ironing, Cleaning", and down below "I do have some other ideas about what we could "do" together".
We'll laugh over that one tonight. Forget the rose, we'll do it over a rose'. Uncomfortable as it will be. It's difficult to sit with a feather duster stuck in your posterior.
Thirty years of marriage and it's come to this.
Dusting before lusting.
I got the message for this year. The Keeper of The Purse, now that we live on Austerity Drive, put out the edict "No Gifts". I did buy the card from the shrapnel I cobbled together out of the ashtray in my horseless carriage.
Why is it when buying a card you have to read every card in the display ? Hallmark ain't necessarily the hallmark. Because I do love a "Short Black", I checked out the card with the two shots on the front, in the "Wife" section. It read, " Honey, you are the shot of creamy milk to my espresso", that left me a little flat white. It could have been so much better, I'm sure "honey" would rather be the"skinnyccino".
My mind went to:
"Honey, you're the sweetness atop my capuccino, the grinder of my beans. I'm your ristretto even though you'd love to try a long black. We're the perfect macchiato. See you latte. I'll be the shot of steam in your frother".
I think that would have me in front of the barrister before the barista.
I ended up with the appropriate words for this day. Thursday is now"HOUSECLEANING DAY" on Austerity Drive. So it's a housecleaning Valentines. The card said "You'll Do Me" on the front, then opened up to "Washing, Ironing, Cleaning", and down below "I do have some other ideas about what we could "do" together".
We'll laugh over that one tonight. Forget the rose, we'll do it over a rose'. Uncomfortable as it will be. It's difficult to sit with a feather duster stuck in your posterior.
Thirty years of marriage and it's come to this.
Dusting before lusting.
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