16 December 2011

Sooo that's what a hernia op is.

 

You get to the hospital at 10.00am, into admissions for bit of paperwork, tell them your full name and birthdate, then Barb, the purple vested,matching hair sweet as Mum volunteer, escorts you to day surgery. I know what I'm in for so I quickly grab my Courier Cross Word section and get straight to 1 Across fit out. I've just put pen to paper when I get called. We...ll it sounded like my name . I'm sure it was Pinky Bhamer from "Bend It Like Beckham" waiting for me. I gave her my name and birthdate. She told me to take a seat. I nearly asked her where to. 

 I'm still on 1 Across fit out, I don't have a watch on, and there's no clock so know one knows the time. My gut says I've been fasting since 6. Now Diana comes and gets me. I let out a 2 Down exclamation. ( 4 letters). I tell her my name and Birthdate. She's helping out from an agency doesn't understand why there's quadruple copies of everything. I told her I'd already been through all on line as instructed to make it easier. I then realized I'd hit "send "four times when I thought the computer was slow. I gave another 2 Down exclamation ( 4 letters) under my breath.

 Diana spies a typo "incisional" instead of "inguinal". Different hernia. I get "the uniform". Gown, bum baring back to front gizmo, stockings, cappy thing to go on your feet , and paper undies so you can just follow through without a worry. Diana takes me through to THE Waiting area. A dozen of us all there ready to go. All in the same get up. Males, females all shapes and sizes all procedures. All into ancient magazines. Well they were'nt ancient when they started reading.

 Before I finally meet the master knifeman, I've told everyone in the hospital my name and birthdate, I read the entire previous weekend edition of the Fin. Review, improved every golf shot in my arsenal with help from a golf mag., but will have to wait 4/6 weeks to test the theory. I also completed the Courier Cross Word. I did manage a 40 Across siesta (3 letters) and another 2 Down exclamation ( 4 letters) when I saw the time . 4.50 pm. I was surprised it was the same year.

 So back home after an overnight, and minus a hernia. Had to drop into the chapel on the way out this morning. "Lift up your hearts" it said.

 

I'm sorry I can do no lifting for 4/6 weeks.